1.05.2014

Misunderstanding Success

It seems that I'm consistently at war within myself in regards to my perceived success or failure.  In fact, just last week when something I had planned and prepped for went awry of my plans and expectations, my immediate thinking dwelled on my failing in life.   Which is why I'm so grateful for guys like John and Henri who realign my thinking.  It's not that I was unsuccessful or a failure, it's that I have the wrong idea about what is or is not success.  

Henri says it this way:  

"There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and respectability. A successful person has the energy to create something, to keep control over its development, and to make it available in large quantities. Success brings many rewards and often fame. Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability. And fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching one another's wounds. Let's remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness." -Henri Nouwen, 'Bread for the Journey'
All this time that I have been striving to gain that which I determine to be success- whether it be status, finances, relationships, or even respectability- I have in fact been striving for that which does not produce the fruit of joy.  What's even more ironic is that when the Master stifles or shatters my plans for success, I tend to curse and grumble at Him for doing that which I am asking Him to do, which is to give me life to the fullest.  

"You can't possibly master enough principles and disciplines to ensure that your life works out.  You weren't meant to, and God won't let you.  For he knows that if we succeed without him, we will be infinitely farther from him." -John Eldredge, 'Walking with God'
This morning I thank God for my failing to succeed as I see it.  My poverty of spirit is what draws me into communion with the Father, which is the great success I could never attain on my own.