Lovers Embrace

Hesitant to move closer,
afraid of being known.
Flee my soul's exposure,
insecure I stay alone.

Resisting free admission,
choked on eldest grief.
Long her affirmation,
find myself too weak.

My words escape unhindered,
'Lover please come near.'
Her steps fall in abundance,
soothing long held fear.

Am I enough a man?
the question old as me.
Held to her breast she answers,
'You were and will always be.'

To hear and know I'm wanted,
long I sought through work and sex.
In lovers arms is given,
my question finding rest.

-BH

'The hands of the king are the hands of a healer'

There's a reason I was attracted to the field of work that I'm in.  It's pretty simple really, I long for healing.  This stood out to me as I was reading Lord of the Rings, for what is probably the twelfth time.  My favorite part of the story doesn't lie with the stumbling into adventure, nor in the details of war.  My favorite chapters, the places where my heart is overjoyed when reading, have to do with the King returning from the threshold of war as healer.  Every time I read this section, which is relatively small in the context of the entire story, I stain my book with tears knowing that the king is not just a fighter (which is necessary), or wise (which is good), but that he's known by his healing.  I long for this in my own story.

"Thus spake Ioreth, wise-woman of Gondor: The hands of the king are the hands of a healer, and so shall the rightful king be known."

"And Aragorn hearing him, turned and said: 'Verily, for in the high tongue of old I am Elessar, the Elfstone, and Envinyatar, the Renewer.'" 

"Suddenly Faramir stirred, and he opened his eyes, and he looked on Aragorn who bent over him; and a light of knowledge and love was kindled in his eyes, and he spoke softly.  'My lord, you called me.  I come.  What does my lord command?' 'Walk no more in the shadows, but awake!' Said Aragorn."

"At the doors of the Houses many were already gathered to see Aragorn, and they followed after him; and when at last he had supped, men came and prayed that he would heal their kinsmen or their friends whose lives were in peril through hurt or wound, or who lay under the Black Shadow.  And Aragorn arose and went out, and he sent for the sons of Elrond, and together they laboured far into the night.  And word went through the City: 'The King is come again indeed.'" 

I began considering how many times in the gospel accounts the writers report Jesus in some form of healing ministry.  Indeed, in Matthew 11:4-5 Jesus proclaims his authority to John's disciples by telling them to report that 'The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor.' I wanted to count up the times he specifically heals, but I lost count, and I'm a little tired.  Needless to say, it was many.  While briefly over-viewing, it seems that the amount of times he heals, be it a crowd or individual, outnumbers or at least equals the times he preaches or teaches.

Not that healing supersedes preaching, or that it is somehow more important, but rather it is not either/or with Jesus but both/and.  This is no vague attempt at raising the flag of social justice over the dregs of dormant dogmatism.  At the seminary I graduated from there is a consistent struggle between these two parts of ministry (preaching and healing/counseling).  I think one reason there is such a tension is because the ability to do both is so far outside of our ability.  Rarely are there men like John Newton who seem to be able to do both so well (and he has plenty of critics).  Yet, this is who Jesus was and is.  He came to both preach good news to the poor and heal the heartbroken (Is.61).