Grace Baby, Grace

Several weeks ago my wife responded to one of my emails with the words in this title, 'Grace baby, grace'.  Honestly, it pissed me off.  Then I looked back at my email.  The expectations I had for myself and her were impossibly high.

For most of my life I've imagined that God had these same kind of lofty expectations which involved me living a perfect, practically glorified life.  I'm not just talking about 'don't sin', but do everything 'right'. To this point it has been up to me to get myself together, making sure to never miss a beat.  One of the many implications of this thinking involves the absurd expectations I have on myself, which eventually find themselves placed on others as well.  To live with someone who has unrelenting, impossible standards is probably similar to being suffocated slowly by a large python.  The weight and pressure of these expectations cause you to fight for your life at first, then slowly go numb, and eventually concede to emotional death. (I'm also a sufferer of extreme thinking if you didn't notice)

Recently it's begun to sink in that this is not actually what God had in mind.  Repeatedly throughout Scripture the emphasis falls on restoration and rebuilding.  Rather than being seen as one who should get it all right the first time, Abba sees me as one who has suffered massive devastation and in desperate need to be rebuilt from the ruins.

In Isaiah 61, which Christ reads from to inaugurate the purpose of his earthly ministry as reported in Luke 4, the coming of the Messiah promises the following for us ragamuffins:

"They'll rebuild the old ruins, raise a new city out of the wreckage.  They'll start over on the ruined cities, take the rubble left behind and make it new."

The rebuilding which is mentioned here comes alongside of preaching good news to the poor, binding up the heartbroken, announcing freedom and pardon to the captives, and caring for those who mourn.  The Messiah also came to give bouquets of life rather than ashes of death, messages of joy rather than doom, and hearts of joyful praise in place of languid spirits.  Nowhere in this giving or restoring does the Messiah first require that the poor, mournful, heartbroken captives be perfect, or even do well at life.  Abba longs that we would hear the words 'Grace son/daughter, grace' and begin the life-long process of having our rubble rebuilt.