Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Cor. 4:16Why is it that I spend so much of my time, effort, mental and emotional energy focusing almost solely on those things which are outward (success, financial security, reputation, comfort and leisure), while inwardly wasting away? Isn't this the exact opposite of what Paul points to as the main theme of the Christian life? To live as Christ is to place importance on the internal, which then transforms the external.
I found myself this morning noticing just how much of the past few months of my life have been centered on getting to a place which I consider to be better, easier, less painful. Through this my focus has shifted from abiding in Abba to abiding in the comforts of this world; which I am so often reminded are fleeting, temporary and unlasting. I am so afraid to follow Jesus to the end, for in following Jesus I am promised that in order to live in Christ I will die to my sinful self, and the death of sin never comes easy. To become like Christ will involve a life of love, which will certainly leave me heartbroken, lonely and grieving. It is simply easier to ignore this inner life and desensitize myself through injections of leisure, comfort and financial stability.
If we are true to this Christian love, it may kill us, impoverish us, or disgrace us. In any event we are sure to lose at least some of the goods of this world, which Jesus took the trouble to point out are of no importance anyway. ~Brennan ManningI waste so much of my life in pursuit of that which will surely fail me. O that I would fully believe and trust Abba.
*I also want to add that the inward and outward life are not at odds, but are intended to intertwine towards the same goal.
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