The Messianic Meal

After spending time on the mountainside healing the sick, wounded, oppressed, and inflicted, Jesus spoke this to his followers (Luke 6:20-21)

"You're blessed when you've lost it all. God's kingdom is there for the finding.

You're blessed when you're ravenously hungry.  Then you're ready for the Messianic meal.

You're blessed when the tears flow freely.  Joy comes in the morning."

This Maundy Thursday I look forward to the cup and bread of new covenant to feed my weak and frail spirit.  I reflect upon the past decade, in which I've lived in a constant stream of uncertainty, typified by change, loss and grief.  We came to seminary in need, having lost what job stability and safety we had once found secure.  We were starving for Jesus, desperately in need of his healing touch, ravenously hungry for the Messianic meal.  In many ways, this has been our mountainside meeting with Jesus, a foreign place in which we sat at his feet and received his blessing.  He spent time healing our emotional wounds, applying the balm of the Comforter to our weary and defeated souls.  We were needy ragamuffins, more akin to puppies waiting for scraps to be thrown from their Master's hand than strong, self-sufficient adults.  Thankfully, not much of this has changed.  In fact, I find myself hungrier now for the Messianic banquet than ever before.  For this insatiable hunger I am grateful.

This week I find myself in a situation I could never have planned, dreamed, or imagined; nor a situation I had ever asked for from Abba.  The tide seems to be changing, my fear of being capsized by insecurity or drowned in fear is being lessened by the week.  The prospect of a job which seems to fit me at my core is on the horizon.  I'm a witness to times of parenting my kids where I visibly see the gospel worked out and applied to their hearts.  Renee and I are increasingly fused together, ever more intwined as we listen to one another's hearts as we walk forward, dream, and trust Abba.

Yet, as I read Jesus' words of blessing to the needy, I was suddenly struck by a new, unfamiliar fear.  What if I get everything I need and want?  What if my heart's desires are met, or even exceeded?  What if I find myself no longer feeling lost or hungry?  Is it possible that in receiving these sweet gifts from Abba I will somehow trust the gifts and lose the blessedness?
Fortunately, I kept reading. (Luke 6:24-25)

"But it's trouble ahead if you think you have it made.  What you have is all you'll ever get.

And it's trouble ahead if you're satisfied with yourself.  Your self will not satisfy you for long.

And it's trouble ahead if you think life's all fun and games.  There's suffering to be met, and you're going to meet it."

Even if I trust the gifts and lose the blessedness, Abba promises to bring me back to a place of neediness.  It's in suffering that He draws me in, allows me to rest and find peace, points my hunger towards His satisfaction.  This use to frighten me, God promising that I'd suffer.  Now however, I find security in the promise that God won't let me run too far.  If need be, the Father will even watch His adopted son suffer, because He knows what I need and where to find it.  I am grateful for my neediness.

May Easter find our ravishing hunger filled and fed by the resurrection of our brother Jesus.